Men's Healthy Anger

Own this. As a man, you have the right (and the need) to get all riled up if your football team misses a field goal attempt. You have the right to kick the garage wall if you can't get the garage door opener to work. You have the right to get into a nasty exchange with the plumber if the job isn't right. You have the right to swear after you get a traffic ticket. And you have the right to use an unpleasant tone of voice with a woman when necessary.

Women can't have it both ways. A woman can't expect to neuter a man's anger response, then demand his virility at her whim. Where would women be without a man's willingness to slay the necessary dragons? Healthy anger is an admirable and indispensable masculine quality and in certain contexts it must be kept alive. The feminized male is a man-in-limbo.

So stop apologizing, stop feeling guilty, and stop neutering your magnificent masculinity. Take responsibility for expressing your real emotions in real time. Don't infantilize a woman. Every woman needs a man to hold her accountable. And if she doesn't want to be told the truth about herself — she's not a woman of worth.

—excerpt from Keep Your Relationship, Keep Your Self, Pamela Hogan